10 Spirituality Studies 10-1 Spring 2024 so in the first two sentences of this verse, “grasping form it comes into existence; grasping form it stands” (Ta. “uru paṯṟi uṇḍām; uru paṯṟi niṟkum”), the form referred to is the form of a body. Having grasped the form of a body as “I am this body”, ego then grows and flourishes abundantly by grasping and feeding on other forms. Whereas it grasps a body by being aware of itself as “I am this body”, it grasps other forms by being aware of them as “I know these things”, in which “know” means to be aware of by any means whatsoever, such as seeing, hearing, perceiving, experiencing, remembering, inferring, understanding, believing and so on. Since it cannot stand or endure for a moment without grasping forms in this way, if it leaves one form, it simultaneously grasps another form. Grasping forms or phenomena is therefore the very nature of ego, and only when it subsides and dissolves back into sleep or any other state of manōlaya (Sa. “temporary dissolution of mind”) does it cease grasping anything. Instead of grasping any form, if ego tries to grasp itself, it will begin to lose its hold on other things and thereby subside, and if it grasps itself firmly enough (that is, if it attends to itself so keenly that it thereby ceases to be aware of anything else whatsoever), it will dissolve back into its source and substance (namely the pure awareness “I am”) in such a way that it will never rise again, as Bhagavan implies in this verse by saying “if sought, it will take flight” (Ta. “tēḍiṉāl ōṭṭam piḍikkum”). Thus in this verse he reveals the profound and all-important truth that the nature of ego is to rise, stand and flourish by attending to anything other than itself (namely any form, object or phenomenon), but to subside and eventually dissolve forever back into its source by attending to itself alone. This is why “self-investigation” (Sa. ātma-vicāra), which is the simple practice of attending to nothing other than our own being, “I am”, is the only means by which ego can be eradicated. That is, ego will be annihilated only when it experiences itself as pure awareness (awareness that is aware of nothing other than itself), so when we as ego attend to ourself so keenly that we thereby cease to be aware of anything other than ourself, we will thereby experience ourself as pure awareness, and thus we will cease to be ego and will remain forever as pure awareness, which is what we always actually are, even when we seem to be ego. This is the state of manōnāśa (Sa. “annihilation or permanent dissolution of mind”), which is what is otherwise called mukti (Sa. “liberation”). 8 Can We Not Achieve Manōnāśa by Bhakti? As we have seen above, Bhagavan taught that manōnāśa cannot be achieved by “breath-restraint” (Sa. prāṇāyāma), which is the central practice of aṣṭāṅga yōga (Sa. “eightlimbed yoga”), but only by “self-investigation” (Sa. ātmavicāra), but what about bhakti (Sa. “love” or “devotion”)? Can we not achieve manōnāśa by bhakti? Yes, we can, but does that mean then that bhakti is an alternative means to self-investigation? Though this may superficially seem to be the case, it is not so, because bhakti in its deepest sense is alone what motivates us to investigate ourself deeply enough to see what we actually are and thereby eradicate ego. To understand why this is so, we need to consider what bhakti actually is. Bhakti means “love” or “devotion”, so there are different forms and different degrees of bhakti. People are generally considered to be “devotees” (Sa. bhaktas) of God if they worship him, pray to him, sing in praise of him, repeat his name or meditate upon him, but most people who do so do so because of what they believe they can gain from God. That is, they do so because they want God to fulfil their desires (not only for things in this world but also for happiness in whatever world or state they believe they will be in after death) and to remove their difficulties. Even if they pray for the welfare of others, they do so because they desire their welfare, believing that it will make them (the one who is praying) happy. Worshipping him in this way for what we hope to gain from him is not true love for God but love for what we can get from him. We thereby make God a means to an end rather than an end in himself. True bhakti or love for God begins, therefore, when we cease wanting anything from him and instead love him for his own sake. Worshipping him by mind, speech or body for the sake of anything we want to gain from him is called kāmya bhakti (Sa. “desirous devotion”), whereas doing so for his own sake without desire for anything else is called niṣkāmya bhakti (Sa. “desireless devotion”), which alone is genuine bhakti. Just as kāmya bhakti is expressed by the devotee through actions of mind, speech or body, in the early stages of niṣkāmya bhakti the devotee likewise expresses their love for God through actions of mind, speech or body. However, since liberation is a state of just being and not doing, it cannot be attained by any “action” (Sa. karma), as Bhagavan says in verse 2 of Upadēśa Undiyār:
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