14 Spirituality Studies 10-1 Spring 2024 il”). When ego is thereby found to be ever non-existent, it will be clear that what actually exists and is therefore real is only ourself as we actually are, so the truth is that we permanently and imperishably exist as such, as he implies in the final sentence of this verse: “Only being permanently as oneself is what is true” (Ta. “tāṉ-āha maṉal-ē uṇmai ām”). Hence, since each of these four paths, karma, bhakti, yōga and jñāna, is intended to get rid of the defects of ego, which is itself the primary defect and the source of all other defects, and since we can therefore get rid of all the defects of ego only by getting rid of ego itself, which we can do only by investigating what it actually is, investigating ego, the one for whom alone all other defects seem to exist, is fulfilling the purpose of each of these four paths, which between them cover the full range of all spiritual practices. 12 We Can Give Ourself to God Only by Being Steadfastly Self-Attentive The pinnacle of all spiritual paths is the path of bhakti, the pinnacle of the path of bhakti is self-surrender, and the pinnacle of self-surrender is self-investigation, because bhakti is love for what alone is ultimately real (whether the ultimate reality is called God, brahman, nirvāṇa or whatever), so only wholehearted and all-consuming bhakti can free us from all desire for anything other than what is ultimately real, and the greatest love is to give ourself entirely to what we love, which we can do only by investigating what we actually are, as Bhagavan implies in the first sentence of the thirteenth paragraph of Nāṉ Ār?: Being one who is firmly fixed as oneself [Sa. tma-niṣṭh paraṉ], giving not even the slightest room to the rising of any other thought [Sa. cintana] except thought of oneself [Sa. ātma-cintana], alone is giving oneself to God. [17] “Being one who is firmly fixed as oneself” (Ta. “ātmaniṣṭhāparaṉ-āy iruppadu”) means “being as we actually are”, and in order to be as we actually are we must cease rising as ego, because it is only when we rise as ego that we seem to be anything other than what we actually are, namely pure “being-awareness” (Sa. sat-cit). So long as we attend to anything other than ourself, we thereby seem to be ego, so attending to other things is the food on which we as ego feed and nourish ourself (as Bhagavan implies in verse 25 of Uḷḷadu Nāṟpadu, cited above in section 6). Therefore in order to cease rising as ego and thereby be as we actually are, we need to attend to ourself so keenly and steadfastly that we thereby cease attending to anything else, as he implies in the adverbial clause of this sentence, “giving not even the slightest room to the rising of any thought except thought of oneself” (Ta. “āṉma-cintaṉaiyai-t tavira vēṟu cintaṉai kiḷambuvadaṟku-c caṯṟum iḍam-koḍāmal”). Here “self-thought” or “thought of oneself” (Ta. āṉma-cintaṉai, which is a Tamil form of the Sanskrit term ātma-cintana) implies “meditation on oneself”, “self-contemplation” or “self-attentiveness”, because when we think of anything, we are thereby directing our attention towards it. Thinking of anything other than ourself entails allowing our attention to move away from ourself towards that other thing, so in order to give not even the slightest room to the rising of any thought about anything except ourself, we need to be so keenly self-attentive that we thereby do not allow our attention to be diverted away from ourself towards anything else. That is, since thoughts arise only in our awareness, no thought can rise unless we attend to it, so if we attend only to ourself, we will thereby give no room for any other thought to arise. As Bhagavan implies in verse 25 of Uḷḷadu Nāṟpadu (cited above in section 6), we as ego cannot rise or stand without attending to things other than ourself, so if we attend to ourself so keenly that we do not allow our attention to be diverted away towards anything else, we will thereby subside and dissolve back into our own being, “I am”, which is the source from which we had risen. Therefore, since our own being in its pristine state, devoid of ego, is God, being self-attentive is the only means by which we can surrender ourself completely to God, as Bhagavan implies in this first sentence of the thirteenth paragraph of Nāṉ Ār?. So long as we think “I need to think this, I need to do that”, we cannot surrender ourself completely to God. So long as such thoughts persist, we may be able to surrender ourself partially, but not completely. In order to surrender ourself completely, we need to surrender even the burden of thinking to God. If any thoughts are necessary, let him think them for us. Only if we have such firm conviction and confidence that he can and will do whatever is necessary, if at all anything is necessary, will we have the courage to cling to self-attentiveness so firmly that we thereby give not even the slightest room to the rising of any other thought. Therefore in the second sentence of this thirteenth paragraph of Nāṉ Ār? Bhagavan assures us:
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