Spirituality Studies 10-1 Spring 2024 27 Michael James Since thoughts rise from ourself under the sway of our viṣaya-vāsanās, in order to annihilate all of them in the very place from which they arise, we need to cling to self-attentiveness so firmly that we thereby do not allow our attention to be diverted away from ourself towards anything else under the sway of our viṣaya-vāsanās. That is, viṣaya-vāsanās will continue trying to rise and distract our attention away towards other things even when we are self-attentive, but so long as we keep our attention fixed firmly on ourself, we thereby do not allow our attention to be distracted by them, so they gradually lose their strength. “Not attending to anything other” (Ta. “aṉṉiyattai nāḍādiruttal”) means not attending to anything other than ourself, and since we attend to other things under the sway of our viṣaya-vāsanās, which are the seeds that give rise to likes, dislikes, desires and so on, not attending to anything other than ourself is true vairāgya (Sa. “dispassion” or “detachment”) or nirāśā (Sa. “desirelessness”). “Not leaving oneself” or “not letting go of oneself” (Ta. “taṉṉai viḍādiruttal”) means not ever allowing our attention to be diverted away from ourself, and since by keeping our attention fixed on ourself so firmly we do not give any room to the rising of ego, this is jñāna (Sa. “true knowledge” or “real awareness”). Since not leaving (or letting go of) ourself means not attending to anything other than ourself, he says “In truth both are just one” (Ta. “uṇmaiyil iraṇḍum oṉḏṟē”), meaning that in this sense vairāgya and jñāna are one and the same. Desire to attend to anything other than ourself is what prevents us clinging firmly to self-attentiveness and thereby sinking into the innermost depth of our own being, so without vairāgya (Sa. “freedom from such desire”) we cannot sink deep enough to know what we actually are. Therefore Bhagavan compares vairāgya to the stones that pearl-divers tie to their waists in order to sink deep enough to pick up pearls that are found at the bottom of the ocean, saying that in this way “each one, sinking deep within oneself with vairāgya, may obtain the self-pearl” (Ta. “o-vv-oruvaṉum vairāggiyattuḍaṉ taṉṉuḷ ḷ-āṙndu mūṙki ātma-muttai y-aḍaiyalām”), in which “self-pearl” (Ta. ātma-muttu) means the pearl that is “one’s own real nature” (Sa. svarūpa). All we need do, therefore, is to cling firmly and uninterruptedly to self-attentiveness, as he assures us by saying “if one clings fast to uninterrupted self-remembrance until one attains svarūpa, that alone is sufficient” (Ta. “oruvaṉ tāṉ sorūpattai y-aḍaiyum varaiyil nirantara sorūpa-smaraṇaiyai-k kai-p-paṯṟuvāṉ-āyiṉ adu-v-oṉḏṟē pōdum”), in which “self-remembrance” (Sa. svarūpa-smaraṇa) means keeping our mind fixed firmly on “our real nature” (Sa. svarūpa), namely our own being, “I am”. Though our real nature is always shining clearly as “I am”, we generally overlook it because of our interest in attending to other things, so the remedy for such self-negligence or self-forgetfulness is constant self-remembrance. In the final two sentences of this paragraph he gives an analogy and leaves it to us to understand what it implies: “So long as enemies are within the fortress, they will be continuously coming out from it. If one is continuously cutting them all down as and when they come, the fortress will be captured”. The fortress is our own heart, and the enemies within it are our viṣaya-vāsanās. If a fortress is being besieged, the enemies in it will not come out if they have sufficient food and water, but if they have no food and water, they will have to come out in search of them. Since viṣaya-vāsanās are our inclinations to attend to things other than ourself, the food and water on which they live is the attention we give to other things, so there is no food and water for them in the fortress of our heart. In order to get their food and water, therefore, they need to come out and divert our attention away from ourself towards other things, but if we cling firmly and uninterruptedly to self-attentiveness, we will thereby not allow ourself to be swayed by them, and thus we will be “continuously cutting them all down as and when they come” (Ta. “vara vara avargaḷai-y-ellām veṭṭi-k-koṇḍu”), and thereby eventually “the fortress will be captured” (Ta. “kōṭṭai kaivaśap-paḍum”), meaning that we will regain “our real nature” (Sa. svarūpa), having vanquished ego and its army of viṣayavāsanās. 19 The essential role of grace This path of self-investigation and self-surrender is therefore a battle being fought within our own will between our sat-vāsanā and our viṣaya-vāsanās, and both of them are vying for our support. When we are self-attentive, we are being swayed by our sat-vāsanā and thereby strengthening it, and when we attend to anything else, we are being swayed by our viṣaya-vāsanās and thereby strengthening them. Since we cannot rise, stand or flourish as ego without grasping things other than ourself, as Bhagavan implies in verse 25 of Uḷḷadu Nāṟpadu (cited above in section 6), it is the very nature of ourself as ego to have viṣaya-vāsanās and to be constantly swayed by them. Therefore having satvāsanā and being swayed by it is contrary to the very nature of ourself as ego, so whereas viṣaya-vāsanās originate from ego, sat-vāsanā does not originate from ego but only from our own real nature, which is pure “being” (Sa. sat).
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