Spirituality Studies 10-1 Spring 2024 29 Michael James whatever path, this path is what is exceedingly easy” (Ta. “e-mmārggam-adaṉiṉum i-m-mārggam mikku eḷidu”), in which “this path” (Ta. “i-m-mārggam”) refers to the path of “selfinvestigation” (Sa. ātma-vicāra). Why this path of self-investigation is so much easier than any other spiritual path is that, unlike in all other kinds of spiritual practice, in this path we need not and should not rise as ego to do anything, but just need to subside and be as we actually are by keeping our mind fixed firmly on our own being, “I am”, as he implies in the second sentence of this verse, “When one just is, resting without the least action of mind, speech or body, ah, in the heart the light of oneself alone” (Ta. “sol māṉada taṉuviṉ kaṉma-ādi siṟidu iṉḏṟi summā amarndu irukka, ammā, ahattil āṉma-jyōtiyē”), in which “in the heart the light of oneself alone” (Ta. “ahattil āṉma-jyōtiyē”) implies that in our heart the light of pure awareness alone will shine forth as ourself. This ātma-jyōti (Sa. “self-light” or “light of ourself”), namely the “light of pure awareness”, which is what we actually are, is our eternal experience and the ocean of infinite happiness, in which fear never exists, as he implies in the next three phrases: “the eternal experience” (Ta. “nita aṉubhūtiyē”), “fear does not exist” (Ta. “irādu bhītiyē”) and “the ocean of bliss alone” (Ta. “iṉba ambhōdhiyē”). 21 Investigating Ourself Is Giving Up Everything However, though this practice is extremely easy, for most of us it seems to be difficult, because to be keenly and steadily self-attentive requires all-consuming love to know and to be what we actually are and consequent willingness to surrender ourself as ego completely, since to the extent to which we attend to ourself we as ego will thereby subside back within and eventually dissolve forever in the infinite light of pure “being-awareness” (Sa. sat-cit). Therefore, as Bhagavan points out in verse 26 of Uḷḷadu Nāṟpadu, investigating what we actually are entails giving up everything, including ourself as ego: If ego comes into existence, everything comes into existence; if ego does not exist, everything does not exist. Ego itself is everything. Therefore, know that investigating what this is alone is giving up everything. [44] In this context “everything” means everything other than ourself, namely all forms, objects or phenomena. All such things seem to exist only in the view of ourself as ego, because they seem to exist only in waking and dream, when we have risen and are standing as ego, and do not seem to exist at all in sleep, when we as ego have subsided and dissolved temporarily in our source. Though we assume in waking and dream that phenomena continued to exist in sleep, that is only an assumption and not our experience, and if we consider the matter carefully and deeply enough, it will be clear to us that we do not have and never can have any evidence that anything exists independent of our awareness of it, or in other words, outside the field of our awareness. Like all other ideas, even the idea that anything does or could exist outside the field of our awareness is just a transitory phenomenon that can appear and disappear only in the field of our awareness. According to Bhagavan, all phenomena are just thoughts in the sense of mental impressions, and mental impressions cannot exist without the mind. Since the perceiving or knowing element of the mind is ego, mental impressions are known only by ego, so it is only in the view of ourself as ego that mental impressions seem to exist. This is why he says in this verse that if ego comes into existence, everything comes into existence, and if ego does not exist, nothing else (no forms, objects or phenomena) exists. Therefore Bhagavan taught us that what we now take to be our waking state is actually just a dream, and it is reasonable for us to accept this teaching, because there is nothing that we experience in this waking state that we could not equally well experience in dream. In a dream we, the dreaming mind or ego, see ourself as all the dream phenomena, and likewise in our present state, we as ego see ourself as all these phenomena, so in this verse Bhagavan says: “Ego itself is everything” (Ta. “ahandai-y-ē yāvum ām”). If we as ego investigate ourself keenly enough, ego will thereby cease to exist (as he implied in the previous verse, namely verse 25 of Uḷḷadu Nāṟpadu, by saying “If sought, it will take flight” [45]) and we will remain eternally as what we always actually are, namely pure “being-awareness” (Sa. sat-cit). Therefore, since ego will cease to exist when we investigate it keenly enough, and since nothing else can exist without ego, he concludes this verse by pointing out: “Therefore, know that investigating what this is alone is giving up everything” (Ta. “ādalāl, yādu idu eṉḏṟu nāḍal-ē ōvudal yāvum eṉa ōr”), in which “this” (Ta. idu) refers to ego. Therefore, though self-investigation is actually very easy, it entails giving up everything, including ourself as ego, so unless we are wholeheartedly willing to give up everything in order to know and to be what we actually are, we will be unwilling to investigate ourself deeply enough, and hence it
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