34 Spirituality Studies 10-2 Fall 2024 beyond this formulation and, paralleling the development of psychodynamic models toward the relational and intersubjective, describes the critical impact of relationality in a spiritual experience to develop a sense of authentic experience and a sense of true knowing (Fischman 2022, 1). Fischman (2022, 12) further suggests that: psychedelics alter the possible intentional states one may experience by activating the same dynamics, which arise in moments of meeting; that is, the drugs induce a sense of knowing and feeling known by another, which may be a therapist, a representation of a key figure in someone’s life, an evoked companion, a vague imagined audience, or even a supernatural entity. What unites this range of real and imagined transactions is the experience of being known by an object. It is this experience, which confers the sense of authenticity to knowing. Throughout his manuscript, Fischman explains that, paralleling the experience of the infant being known by an attuned parent from the beginning of life, or a patient known by a therapist and “mentalized” in their mind, a critical component of the experience of authentic knowing and feeling real is generated through the intersubjective experience with another – even when the experience occurs wearing a mask and headphones. MDMA and other psychedelics facilitate the rapid dissolution of defensive experiences, allowing for a drop in the expectancy of painful reactions to one’s internal experiences, and the emergence then of the “True Self” emerging with an experience of acceptance and being known by the other. 5.2 Subjective Experience through Mystical Judaism Jewish mysticism, or Kabbalah, approaches the idea of the Self and the experience of authenticity as a “divine spark” – a piece of the Eternal living within each being. One can consider other metaphors from other spiritual traditions that capture this idea – perhaps kundalini from Kashmir Shaivism and MDMA or ecstasy from neurochemical perspectives. The light of Ein Sof is connected to this divine spark that dwells within each being. Through meditation and mystical practice, the individual can at moments experientially connect this sense of light within the Self to the sense of greatness beyond. In the paradigm of mystical Judaism or Kabbalah, this experience stems from a complex energetic connection of the sefirot, the divine emanations referenced above. The Hasidic rebbes spoke and wrote of the ability to experience the connection to God through dvekut (Weisblum 1788). This involves an intense spiritual connection with the Divine, where the sense of Self becomes attached to or even subsumed within the greater reality of God’s presence (Heschel in Ponak 2022). This takes the sense of the concretized, “Invictus” of Self to something beyond. Hasidic teachings and stories often also point to the importance of humility and potentially Self-effacement in this process (Heller 2010), as well as the helpfulness of a “spiritual guide” (He. tzaddik or rebbe) with experience in this realm (Schachter-Shalomi 1983, 47–49). Perhaps through our imagination at least at first, we might draw from these descriptions a more powerful sense of the idea behind Winnicott’s True Self and Fairbairn’s central pristine ego. What makes them pristine or true? It is as though there is something near sacred about the Self at the beginning of life. This pristine ego might be considered the inner Torah, the inner divine essence and preconceptual light. “We find in all things the life-force of the Holy Blessed One.” This certainly brings a greater immediacy to the idea of the Self. A Holy Torah, not in the sense of a book but of a deep reality, a knowing which precedes cognition, but which cognition and awareness can help seek. This begins to have a certain light, and a certain pull to discover and uncode. The Self is experienced in a variety of manners through Jewish mystic teachings: from a sense of joy and ecstasy to an experience of deep sadness, and the balance of equanimity, all experienced through a union between an aspect of the Self and Ein Sof. Consider the following passages. The first involving an experience of joy through union with “God’s presence” on Earth (He. Shekhinah; Zohar 1558): The Divine Presence does not dwell in a place of sorrow but it does dwell in a place of joy. If there is no delight there, the ‘Shekhinah’ does not rest there. As it says, ‘Now get me a musician.’ And as the musician played the hand of God came upon him (2 Kings 3:15). The spirit of God was on him. This is the ‘Shekhinah’, and of course it does not rest in a place of sadness. Though the experience of the Self in connection with God is not limited to joy and subjective ecstasy and bliss. One can also find reference to the experience of deep sadness. This sadness, when experienced subjectively in conjunction with a higher power, leads to a restoration of capacities. The passage below is from the Piaseczner Rebbe (Kalonymus Kalman Shapira 1960, 178–179) who taught and sup-
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