3 6 S p i r i t ua l i t y S t u d i e s 4 - 1 S p r i n g 2 0 1 8 “But no more could I hear the joyful shouts and singing, no longer was there the lively activity of the previous scene. In the faces and actions of many boys there was evident a weary boredom, a surliness, a suspicion, that pained my heart” (Bosco 1884). That situation is the reason for John Bosco’s question: “But how can we bring these youngsters to life again so that we can get back to the liveliness, the happiness, the warmth of the old days?” (Bosco 1884). The dialogue after this question defines a special form of love. “With charity!” “With love? But don’t my boys get enough love? You know how I love them. You know how much I have suffered and put up with for them these forty years, and how much I endure and suffer even now. How many hardships, how many humiliations, how much opposition, how many persecutions to give them bread, a home, teachers, and especially to provide for the salvation of their souls. I have done everything I possibly could for them; they are the object of all my affections.” “I’m not referring to you.” “Then to whom are you referring? To those who take my place? To the rectors, the prefects, the teachers, the assistants? Don’t you see that they are martyrs to study and work, and how they burn out their young lives for those Divine Providence has entrusted to them?” “I can see all that and I am well aware of it, but it is not enough; the best thing is missing.” “That the youngsters should not only be loved but that they themselves should know that they are loved.” “But have they not got eyes in their heads? Have they no intelligence? Don’t they see how much is done for them, and all of it out of love?” “No, I repeat: it is not enough.” Love is not enough. Being martyrs of love and care is not enough because this love is unable to open the hearts of children. Bosco’s education begins with confidence and confidence needs familiarity. “How then are we to set about breaking down this barrier?” asked Bosco (1884). “By a friendly informal relationship with the boys, especially in recreation. You cannot have love without this familiarity, and where this is not evident there can be no confidence. If you want to be loved, you must make it clear that you love. Jesus Christ made himself little with the little ones and bore our weaknesses. He is our master in the matter of the friendly approach… One who knows he is loved loves in return, and one who loves can obtain anything, especially from the young. This confidence creates an electric current between youngsters and their superiors. Hearts are opened, needs and weaknesses made known” (Bosco 1884). As we can see, loving kindness expresses the fact that in order to create an effective educational relationship it is necessary that the young are not only loved but that they know that they are loved. It is a special style of relationships and affection that awakens in the hearts of the young all their potential and makes it mature even into the ability of total self-donation. That is exactly the meaning of the prophecy dream. Love must be present and at the same time enchanting, beautiful, tender, cordial etc. In the experience of John Bosco only loving kindness is “authentic love because it draws its strength from God; it is love which shows itself in the language of simplicity, cordiality and fidelity; it is love which gives rise to a desire to correspond; it is love which calls forth trust, opening the way to confidence and to profound communication (‘education is a matter of the heart’)” (Chaves 2013). 4 Conclusions In the educational spirituality of John Bosco, the “form” of love is the basic condition of truly encountering God and at the same time of effective education. Loving kindness is the expression of affectivity based on love. It is not something individual and private. In this sense, affectivity is aimed at another person. It is the recognition of good in others; it is the discovery of good and participation in it. Thus loving kindness as “affective love” forms the right education and brings effectiveness. Only it allows a real encounter with God. At the same time, it is true that loving kindness becomes a sign of the love of God, and a means of re-awakening his presence in the hearts of those who are reached by Don Bosco’s goodness. From this comes the conviction that the apostolic spirituality of the Salesian Family is characterized not by a generic kind of love, but by the ability to love and make oneself loved (Chaves 2013). We conclude our reflection with a poem. Its author is a child who tells his mother what is going through his mind and stays in his heart as he watches what she does.
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