4 S p i r i t ua l i t y S t u d i e s 5 - 2 Fa l l 2 0 1 9 At that moment, I felt I needed to ask forgiveness from my parents and thus, I was not ready to die. The pain was unbelievable, so I asked to be separated from the pain and I came out of my body. This experience gave me a strong conviction that something happens to us after the body dies, that there is a continuation. If this is the case, that means everything we do in life has consequences, and I wanted to start living a life based on that understanding. It took about five years of reading and studying before I found my first teachers. I started attending day-long meditation retreats with a Zen group and also got interested in Yoga. I eventually quit my job and moved into a large ashram in Massachusetts. It was here that my roommate was a passionate follower of S. N. Goenka. Something happened to me while sitting my first ten-day retreat and I knew I wanted to dedicate my life to a more formal meditation practice. Being a monastic is not always easy and there are many frustrations along the way, but the same is true for lay life. I guess, at some level, I wasn’t looking for the most comfortable path. I was initially looking for a path, where I felt those around me were benefiting and give me confidence to try it out. Fortunately, I noticed the results in myself, and thus was able to continue with the support of Sangha. We all need to constantly renew our motivation in order to persevere in what we have chosen. What are the main sources of inspiration for you and what keeps your motivation alive: inspiring individuals, teachings, intensified practices…? Contemplation of death is probably the most effective motivation tool that I use. It was the fundamental reason I started on this path and it is a reflection that the Buddha encourages us to reflect on daily. When we use this reflection, it eventually dawns on us that not only am I going to die, but so is everybody I know and love, and all beings everywhere. This reflection helps me to “not take things so seriously”. It allows me to hold my views and opinions more lightly, and thus reduces my anxiety and stress. Portrait of Neil Fallon Here is the portrait that only took two hours to paint: One of the potters at Saint John’s Pottery asked Jotipālo to paint this as Neil Fallon is his favorite musician.
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