4 2 S p i r i t ua l i t y S t u d i e s 5 - 2 Fa l l 2 0 1 9 and the life of suffering dominated by the “story”, “past and future”, “I”, desires, fears and “negatively affective” self-reference. Gary Weber reports qualities of his new state of being that were surprising to him. They manifested also in his professional career, which had nothing to do with spirituality or mysticism. That day when his “shift” occurred, there were around a thousand people, “four research laboratories and a budget of about $250 million for which ‘I’ was responsible, and work had to take place that day without an ‘I’” (Weber 2015, 2). But everything went well, and, “as the days went on, work and ‘my life’ were actually going on without ‘me’. The work was much more creative, useful and insightful, as there was full and complete awareness in every meeting, whether it was with the CEO, peers, researchers, customers, analysts, etc.” (Weber 2015, 2–3). When he attended meetings at work, he observed that “no one else was actually there for the whole meeting, fully present in every moment to body language, voice inflection, and presentation details. They were somewhere else in their minds for most of the meetings” (Weber 2015, 3). Gary Weber now views free will and control as non-existent: “‘my life’ was functioning perfectly without ‘me’… something, whatever one wants to call it, was somehow ‘doing’ my life and arranging all sorts of amazingly serendipitous and fortunate meetings, events, activities, etc. and always had been. ‘Free will’, control, choices and ‘doing’ were something that ‘I’ was totally certain that ‘I’ had and did… however, it was clear that this was a complete and total illusion, and always had been.” (Weber 2015, 3). He reports no fear, though, stemming from the fact that he no longer perceives free will, control, or choice: “Far from being terrifying and causing mind-numbing anxiety, the recognition that there was no ‘free will’, ‘control’ or ‘choice’ was one of the most amazing, freeing and enabling understandings that could be imagined. All of the guilt, and pride, which had been so skillfully installed by religion, culture, institutions, teachers, etc., just fell away.” (Weber 2015, 3) Yet he experiences directly something benevolent and loving, which carries him now: “This truly was ‘freedom’ beyond anything that could have been imagined. There was no sin, no karma, no good deeds and no bad deeds. Something benevolent and loving was guiding and holding ‘me’ and had been doing so all along. When there was a little surrender, there was a feeling of being held a little. When there was more surrender, there was a feeling of more care and support. Now, with no ‘I’ to hold on to anything, and with no alternative but total surrender, there was complete love, support and compassion.” (Weber 2015, 3). I included many citations of Weber in order to show how this transformation of consciousness is experienced by the one transformed and how it can change his or her life. It is good, I think, to be aware of what this scientific research tries to study, although it cannot at present, and possibly ever, penetrate to the infinite depth of the Goal. But the Goal is dynamic and alive. I will therefore end with the Weber’s description of life in this dynamic field of bliss, fullness, connection and unity (Weber 2015, 4): There is, therefore, no end to the deepening, although there is no one ‘doing it’ – the brain, in its continual drive for efficiency, neural real estate optimization and minimal energy consumption – does it ‘all by itself’ as it strongly prefers stillness and order to suffering, ‘blah, blah’, anxiety, fears, etc. As Harada Roshi, a famous 19th/20th century Japanese Zen master said, ‘Enlightenment is capable of endless enlargement.’ Early every morning, what would look to others like a practice, still emerges, in a spontaneous combination of yoga asanas, breathing practices/pranayama, sitting meditation, walking meditation, chanting, self-inquiry, affirmations, negations, bhakti, spontaneous posture flows, etc. Even more surprisingly, every morning something new is disclosed… a key is turned in a lock in a door that wasn’t even known to be there. Just when it seemed as if nothing could be sweeter, more still, more complete, more present… it deepens. Notes [1] Theory of everything is usually understood as theory in physics, and as such it is concerned with the phenomena which have to be convertible to the data of the bodily senses (such conversion is done with the combined help of scientific measuring instruments and scientific theories). But if not, all that is, is convertible to these data, theory of everything in this sense may not be sufficient for deriving consequences concerning all spheres of experience.
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