8 Spirituality Studies 9-2 Fall 2023 it, because a technique or method is necessary for doing something that is in some way difficult or complicated, so just looking at something is too simple to be called a technique or method. Likewise, though being self-attentive is an extremely subtle kind of looking or observation, it is too simple to be called a technique or method. Looking at or observing anything other than ourself entails three things, namely ourself, the observer, whatever it is that we are observing, and the act of looking or observing, whereas looking at, observing or attending to ourself entails only one thing, namely ourself, because we are both what is observing and what is being observed, and observing ourself is not an action, because it does not entail any movement of our attention away from ourself. Since we are awareness, we can observe ourself only by being aware of ourself, and since our very nature as awareness is to be aware of ourself, we can observe ourself only by just being as we actually are without rising as ego. Therefore, in self-attentiveness the observer, the observed and the observing are one and the same thing, namely ourself as the pure awareness that we always actually are. Hence, being a state of perfect oneness, there is nothing that could possibly be simpler than just being self-attentive. The techniques of yoga and the methods of clinical psychology are all intended to achieve some effect and bring about some outcome, whereas in self-investigation we are not seeking to achieve anything other than to be what we always actually are. As Bhagavan often used to say, there is no new knowledge that we need to achieve, because whatever is achieved anew will sooner or later be lost, so we are not seeking anything new but only what is permanent. What we seek to know in self-investigation is only ourself, which is what we always know as “I am”. However, though we always know ourself as “I am”, when we rise and stand as ego we know ourself not just as “I am” but as “I am this body”, so what we are seeking is not to achieve a new knowledge but only to remove this wrong knowledge, “I am this body”. If we remove this wrong knowledge by being aware of ourself as we actually are, namely as the pure awareness “I am”, what will remain is only this pure awareness, which we have always known as “I am”. Regarding the term aham-sphuraṇa, what Bhagavan meant by this term is simply the increased clarity of self-awareness that we experience to the extent to which we go deep in the practice of self-investigation. That is, aham means “I”, and in this context sphuraṇa means “clear shining” or “clarity”. So long as our attention is directed outwards, away from ourself towards any other thing, we are aware of ourself as “I am this body”, but when we direct our attention inwards, towards ourself alone, we begin to recognise that what we actually are is not this body or any other phenomenon but only our fundamental awareness “I am”, so instead of being aware of ourself as “I am this body”, we gradually become increasingly aware of ourself as “I am I”. This clarity of awareness of ourself as “I am I” is therefore what he called aham-sphuraṇa, “the clear shining of I”. As we go deeper in the practice of self-investigation, this clarity of awareness of ourself as “I am I” becomes increasingly clear, so there are different degrees of aham-sphuraṇa. The degree of clarity (Sa. sphuraṇa) that we begin to experience when we first attend to ourself is generally very faint, but as we attend to ourself more and more keenly, it shines brighter and clearer (but only to the extent to which we attend to it), until eventually it shines so clearly that it consumes ego entirely and forever. Is there really a difference between self-investigation and surrender? Both are considered by Bhagavan to be primary paths to liberation. But doesn’t self-investigation end in surrender? And is it even possible to surrender apart from self-investigation? We can begin to surrender even before we begin to investigate ourself, because surrender generally begins on the path of bhakti (Sa. “love” or “devotion”) even before we come to
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